awdplace:

…This really struck hard… Justin “JewWario” Carmical… to the surprise of everyone, committed suicide on Thursday…

I’m really hurting… This is a guy that I knew personally… Not as much as other people, but I knew him, he was a friend, an inspiration, a really really cheerful, positive, very go-getting individual and this news is just so, shocking. I don’t even know what kind of things I can say, only that I pray for his wife, family, his friends going through this horrible sudden tragedy. I almost have to say I’m really angry at him… and say how selfish he was for taking his life when he knew he had us to turn to for help, but… I can’t… we can’t explain these things or why they happen… I can’t say what was in his mind, or why he did it, and shouldn’t even blame anyone for this… We all wish we knew, but we don’t… It’s just what it is… a horrible tragedy… a terrible loss…

I can’t say I know what happened, no one does, we just know it happened… We all wish we could have done something but… what COULD we have done? How could we have known? How do we explain these things when we know so little? It’s hard to prevent something that isn’t even evident to us… We can’t read minds… Sadly…

We lost a great person… This guy was really inspirational to me. I loved to watch his videos and when I got involved with TGWTG I felt happy to talk to him. That he considered me his friend. We visited, hung out during some events. I remember going with him to Round 1 over here when he was visiting at E3… We spent all night playing games in an arcade, sharing silly stories, spending way too much time late at night at a Denny’s and eating pancakes. We chatted on Skype, worked together… we had plans and I asked him to join me in a future video that he was more than happy to be a part of whenever I started… I watched him cheer up EVERYONE during streams he held at times. We shared a room at Magfest… This guy… gave me a perler bead of Mega Man that HE MADE HIMSELF just for me… He was an amazing person… And this is a horrible… tragic happening… that I wish never happened… but it did… sadly it did…

All I could do today was spend time with friends, try to be as best as I could be, while this stewed in my mind, but I can’t rationally think about it, no one can or probably will be able to explain it, and he can’t… I can feel it in everyone who knew him, better than I, that they can’t explain it, or rationalize it… We can just be there for each other, and remember the man for what he was, what he IS, a truly wonderful, kind-hearted human being who wanted to entertain and make people happy.

I broke down watching the last of nashscribblings stream tonight when I got home and just lost it… I must’ve redrawn that five… six times or something but I couldn’t make it look right… I still don’t think it looks right but I wanted to commemorate the guy I was inspired by… One of the greatest people I’ve met and had the pleasure to talk to.

Rest in Peace Justin Carmical… You are not stupid, and we care about you. And we will miss you so, so much…