ryliceracc:

third-round-charm:

marcoslefthalf:

you dont have to agree with his policies but you have to admit hes the coolest president weve had ever

1.) Teddy Roosevelt was the youngest president in our nation’s history.
2.) He’s the only person to ever have won the Medal of Honor, AND the Nobel Peace Prize.
3.) One time, three men stole his boat. He tracked them down through the Dakota Badlands, found them, beat the shit out of them, and took all three of them prisoner until the police arrived two days later.
4.) As commissioner of the NYPD, he hired it’s first female to the force, and went undercover to catch corrupt officers. Once, caught one taking a bribe, so he beat him up and threw him in a dumpster before firing him.
5.) He discovered and mapped a new river in the Amazon rainforest.
6.) Before a campaign speech, he was shot in the chest by a would-be assassin. He was hit in the chest, and the bullet lodged in his chest wall. he refused medical attention and gave his speech anyway, which he started by saying, “It takes more than that to kill a Bull Moose.”
7.) As President, he would regularly let young soldiers and marines come to the white house to fight him. He also brought in professional boxers to work him out. During one fight with a soldier, he was hit so hard it caused hemorrhaging and a detached retina, leaving him permanently blind in his left eye. Even though his doctor ordered him to quit after that, he didn’t.
8.) He was the first president to fly in an airplane. He took a four minute flight in a plane build by the Wright brothers.
9.) He went skinny dipping in the middle of the Potomac River with the French ambassador.
10.) While hunting in Mississippi, he decided that killing a young, trapped bear was an act fo a coward, and let it go free. A New York toymaker heard the story, created a child’s stuffed toy bear as the “Teddy Bear”.

But Obama read lines for a comedy sketch? Please. He’ll never be as cool as Teddy Roosevelt.

^