itsatardis:

feferipixies:

betternotmesswithmagnetman:

betternotmesswithmagnetman:

nautilid:

trebaolofarabia:

inkbatts:

thescpfoundation:

SCP-261: Pan-dimensional Vending

SCP-261 appears to be a large black vending machine with no glass panel and a keypad on the right side. It was found Yokohama, Japan and its origins are unknown. When money is placed into SCP-261 and a three-digit number is entered on the keypad, SCP-261 will vend a random item.he number entered on the keypad has no effect on the item vended, nor has any pattern been detected. Items are always some form of “snack food”, and typically have bright, attention-grabbing packaging. If SCP-261 is used several times in a short period of time, is used while unpowered, and/or large amounts of money are entered before an item is vended, SCP-261 will start to dispense bizarre items. While still “food”, their suitability for human consumption is often non-existent. A full log of objects vended can be found here.

This is my favorite one.

I do really love the pan dimensional vending machine.

I just read the whole thing. I love it. Very Hitchhiker’s Guide.

Money entered: 0 yen (pushed “coin return” button)
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Powered
Item description: A single “zero yen” coin deposited into change return slot. Coin is pressed out of pot metal, reverse face depicts a smiling Ronald McDonald.

Money entered: 0 yen (pushed “coin return” button)
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item description: Red aluminum can labelled simply “Stop That” in block letters, intermittent buzzing heard from within can as if coming from a large, angry insect. Subject declined to open container.

DUDE

Money entered: 500 yen
SCP-261 Powered or Unpowered: Unpowered
Item description: Bertie Botts Amusing Everycolor Beans — A package of ca. 24 jellybeans in a variety of bright colors, including mixed and some that are not known to occur on Earth. When eaten, caused the color of all body hair to permanently change to that of the bean. As a result, subjects’ hair is now a flat shade of banana yellow and of sky blue. Packaging in English.

BERTIE BOTTS MOTHER FUCKER

REAL BERTIE BOTTS

woah this is a really cool story.