the-goddamn-doomguy:

It’s the most important day of the month everybody! No, not Christmas. Festival for the Souls of Dead whales day? What the fuck?! No goddammit! 

Its now officially been 19 years of Doom!

19 years of killing, murdering, destroying, neutralizing, annihilating, massacring slaughtering, butchering, exploding, eviscerating, splattering, gibbing, slicing, dicing, hacking, slashing, punching, kicking, shooting, disintegrating, liquidating, vaporizing, sawing, vivisecting, bisecting, disemboweling, and RIPPING AND TEARING the forces of Hell.

I’d put down a lot more synonyms but my thesaurus seems to have just spontaneously combusted.

Happy birthday you wonderful video game that has had one of the strongest impacts on the world of video games at large. I love you way too much to be considered healthy. If it weren’t for you…. I probably wouldn’t be the humongous loser that I am and actually have a life. It’s far too late for that though, so I’ll just keep shooting at pixilated demons on a computer screen until the day I grow old and die.

Even after modern shooters tried to set out and ruin everything you started, we’ll all look to you as that beautiful, bright, and shining example of the time when shooters didn’t suck complete and total donkey dick. Even when the FPS genre was at its absolute worst because of games like ‘Modern Battlefield of Duty: Shoot More Brown People and Russians’ or ‘Big Dumb Power Armor Wearing Wuss’s Linear Space Adventure’, you’ll still be the torch that lights the way to actual fun when it comes to first-person perspective murder simulators.

Happy birthday Doom. You’re just a video game and I put way too much thought into this. Love ya babe.